Kathryn Hahn Reflects on the 'Crossroads' Moment in Her Life That Changed Everything: 'I Really Felt This Ache in My Soul'

Kathryn Hahn's life may have boiled down to one major move.

The Bad Moms star, 51, remembered the tricky decision she made when she was 28 years old to ditch doing theatre on the East Coast and flee to California to be with her boyfriend, now husband, Ethan Sandler, and start pursuing a film career.

"It felt like a crossroads of my life. Which way am I going to go? My boyfriend was like, 'We've been apart for three years. How are you going to go on for another year?’ That, coupled with the student loans, made it an easier decision," Hahn, who studied drama at Yale, explained in a recent interview. "But I was kicking and screaming, and I really felt this ache in my soul and my belly for a long time, because all I had known was theater — except for a kids’ TV show I did when I was like 11."

After taking the leap, the Step Brothers star got a role on the series Crossing Jordan and a part in the beloved romantic comedy How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days alongside Kate Hudson.

"I wonder now if I would have made the same decision, and I guess I would have," Hahn added. "At 28, it's a really unsettling time, because your 30s seem so daunting and so adult, and your 20s feel like you're in them forever, like you're always going to be able to smoke as many cigarettes as you want. You're always going to be able to drink until 4 a.m. and wake up and work like three hours later. And you always think that your friendships are going to last for the rest of your life."

Navigating such hard life decisions was made easier by having a group of close friends who were going through similar situations and their ability to lean on each other. "Those friends that you meet in college are the ones through whom you see the world. My boyfriend, now hubby, Ethan, was definitely a part of that as well. I met some of my closest friends at Williamstown [Theater Festival]," the funny lady noted.

"It was interesting because for so long, we were all in the same boat of off, off, off, off Broadway and hustling and borrowing money from each other, and going to this theater festival. I had no money behind it, but I wrote Ethan a check for 1,000 bucks. I said, 'I promise you, I'll pay you back because it was the only way I can afford going to Williamstown.' He just held on to it, never cashed it," she added.

When Hahn thinks about the start of her career, she's deeply proud of all of the choices she made. “Looking back, everything seems so life or death. Every one of those big decisions you just think, 'This is going to determine the rest of my life,'” she said. “You're able to see it all fall into this perfect, weird plan that I was not even aware I was part of.”

Bustle conducted the interview with Hahn.